A REMINDER: Bisexuality isn't a phase and I owe neither the gay or straight community anything

People are always asking me if, now that I'm married to Angus, if I miss sleeping with women.  That's a stupid question that is only asked of bi men and women - as if getting married means they settled on something and were having a way better time beforehand fucking everything that moves.  News Flash: Bi folk have the same success getting laid on a Saturday night as everyone else.  It isn't a "double your chances" affair - there are so many factors that go into attracting others that you're openness to any gender-type only has the smallest of impacts in comparison to your overall attractiveness and charm.

It isn't about missing women but it is about loving Angus.  The hidden truth about bisexuality is that it's a sexual orientation that isn't connected to one's desire to live monogamously with someone - it just means that your someone could be of any gender-type.  I didn't marry Angus because he was a man but because he looks at me and gets all mushy - his perfectly sized dick and that musky smell he gets after yoga class are just a bonus, not a deal enhancer.

Well, the latter does make things a bit more exciting . . .

Queer in Britain

Bottoming out

My biographer refuses to put this stuff in the books ... the way guys have to "prepare" to be intimate with one another.  I don't blame A.G. as it isn't dinner time reading nor particularly romantic.  However, it is something blokes need to know as the venture forth.  Thus I offer this link to a really good website that offers details in a comic format.

Wish someone had told me this in the beginning.
How to clean your ass (for anal sex)

Wondering if anyone else is grateful ...

Bruce Cockburn: If a Tree Falls in the Forest

Feeling Grateful

Thinking of Judaism's matriarchs:

• Sarah, the wife of Abraham.
• Rebekah, the wife of Isaac.
• Leah and Rachel, the wives of Jacob.

Sending love to my own matriarchs:

• Ciara, my sister by blood
• Mishiko, my sister by adoption
• Lady Nora, my grandmother by destiny and Toni, my wife by choice (you gotta wait for the next book for that explanation - 😇)

Something from my biographer ...

My ass says fuck you!

Just wrote a book – The Roswell Discrepancy: a human romance in three parts.  I’ve had several reactions to it recently, none of which do I understand completely.  My so-called straight family/friends have had a mixture of shock and admiration, even after I tell them that that means nothing if it doesn’t sell.  I figured that what I wrote should have the sales and/or critical acclaim of any of today’s recognized authors.  I don’t think this is too much to ask.  Others seem to think that I’m being ungrateful.  My response is no, just perfectionistic.

Then three other things happened.  First, I got grief from the people at the local LGBTQ newspaper – questions of what made me a spokesperson for the queer community, what made this book worthy of inclusion in the LGBTQ canon, what is the book contributing to gay literature or teaching us about life, and, most importantly, who was I?  The second thing was a negative review – I had had bad ones before (the other two were like bad dates; you know, it’s-not-you-but-me variety) but this one was just annoying because it required that I justify the snarky, sometimes nasty tone and vocabulary used by my protagonist.  The third thing was my partner’s return from a longer than expected hospitalization. 

The last I will not discuss for I think smart, sensitive writers can appreciate the impact this can have on someone.  The first deserves some answers: I am not a spokesperson for the LGBTQ community nor does my story teach anything.  It simply is the story of one man’s life, some parts fantastic while other parts quite normal.  It will teach nothing but serves as an unPhotoShopped picture of human lust and romance in light of childhood sexual abuse.  It is real but not what folks expect - or maybe need – and I’m not sorry about that.

As for the second – the bad review – oh, well.  As I said just above, this is based on real people and, rightly or wrongly, regular folk don’t use proper, sensitive language.  Maybe we should change our words, examine our motives, and explore our privileges constantly.  And the reality is we don’t.  This is a novel in first person using his thoughts and feelings – how he sees life, unfiltered.  I would hope the world has room for this otherwise we are being politically correct simply to be polite.

I’m not deterred.  I believe in this story.  It is a matter of finding the right audience.  This is a relatively new requirement for writers – used to be we had publishers do this but then again that was back in the bad old days when they decided who read what.  We have freedom now.  Yipeee!

highly recommended

The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe

Thanks to all my fans, a negative review, and a comic

Thanks to everyone who attended my biographer's book release party.  Thanks to the great folks at City Coffeehouse as well for being so welcoming.  Great fun was had by all.  If you missed it, don't worry as she is planning other events for the near future.  Check back for details.

I noted a negative book review which indicated they didn't  like offensive words they found in the story.  I suppose I should have warned folks - I'm not politically correct and use offensive language like most folks toss off paper towels.  If you aren't irritated or offended by something in this story then I should fire my writer.  I believe sex and love are messy and the language offered in reflecting on them has to reflect that madness.  I appreciate that we are trying to improve our homophobic, hyper-masculine, sexist, racist, etc. cultures.  I'm not here to do that because I'm no social activist. I'm a man trying to find some emotional comfort in this wacky place we call Earth.  Period.

Now for something completely different ...