Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Reclaiming Faith Part 1

Musing #414

Ever walked into a house of worship and wonder when the lightening is going to strike you dead?  Did you ever try to find a spot in the pews where no one will recognize the sins dripping from all over your body?  Have you ever been certain the guy or gal on the pulpit was talking about something evil you did yesterday, like they were calling you out?  Is returning to a faith tradition supposed to be this painful?  And is G-d angrier that you left or that it took so long for you to come back?

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Musing #66789 - Remembrances, Pt One


Chapter 1

The autumn rain dripped cold but quietly around the Reese family’s private cemetery.  From the kitchen window of the family side of the Morganwg estate, Ciara Mac Innes-McBatton watched a lone figure sitting on a bench by a recently installed headstone.  Typically, the Jewish family waited until the dedication ceremony before uncovering the headstone but this was not the typical Jewish family. 
She was grinding herbs for a special tea she had been making throughout the year of mourning.  Ostensibly it was to help the mourner better manage the inevitable sadness that accompanies loss.  But, this activity was more for her benefit, giving her something to do, some way to cope with what was a loss for her as well.  She was stuck at Kubler-Ross’s anger stage of death and loss – the pulverizing of the herbs in her mortar and pestle.  But anger was not an emotion the elderly animal whisperer and druidic priestess was used to as it was not normally part of her nature.  And as she considered the figure in the distance, she finally accepted that her anger was simply a reflection of her helplessness.  There was nothing she could do for the figure now slumped over, likely crying.  She knew he was dying.  The rest of the family did not, particularly the younger ones – he had insisted that she say nothing and there weren’t any external signs.  He didn’t want the kids to worry and she knew his sadness would kill him long before the cancer did.

“Mum?”  Brianna, Ciara’s oldest daughter, came in the kitchen and her presence shouldn’t have startled her but it did.

“Sorry?”

“Mum,” the concerned daughter said as she rested her hands on her mother’s slumped shoulders, “shouldn’t we convince him to come inside?  The groundskeepers need to put up the tent before the grass turns to mud.”

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Love comes at the strangest moments



Family lore would have it that Angus told Deetz he loved him while the two were stranded in a frozen Russian forest after a nearly failed rescue – holding Deetz in his arms, praying that Deetz wouldn’t bleed to death due to his gunshot wounds, and promising to marry him if he lived. Real sweet stuff and a PG-rated story to tell the kids, nieces and nephews. But, it wasn’t true. Angus first told Deetz he loved him while getting a blow job in an alley patio of a gay bar.

If curiosity killed the cat, luckily Angus had nine lives. He had never been to a gay bar and after a bottle of wine with dinner at an Indian restaurant, he cajoled Deetz to expand his experiences. They had to ride around for some time as it had been some time since Deetz had cruised the London scene. They finally found a spot – Buddies – with a compliment of leather boys smoking in front to describe the Feng Shui one would find inside. “Lush!” Angus exclaimed while Deetz rolled his eyes.

Angus's Thoughts


Musing #34 – What is Angus thinking?

Angus Reese was a bit drunk and really high but that didn’t explain the sudden curiosity about how boys have sex. Sure, he’d seen a few pornos and, as any good liberal should, attended his fair share of gay pride parades, usually with lesbian friends. He liked pussy and a fair set of tits bouncing from just above the opening of a silk blouse rocked his johnny something fierce. But as some distant intellectual exercise, Angus wondered just exactly how blokes, well, did it. The whole “similar body parts” piece just eluded him – was it weird to feel hair against your upper lip (Did it tickle, like some of his girlfriends said)? Did guys give better blow jobs (A guy’s gotta know what a guy wants, right)? Do guys feel the same kind of spark straight guys do when they find the one (or do they just fuck around like most straight guys wish they could)? The latter question puzzled him the most for, despite wooing and bedding any number of women, at some point, Angus always felt empty, as if the conquest was the only thrill. He was beginning to think that despite really wanting children that eventually he would just adopt some Congolese orphan and raise him or her as a single dad. Having to talk to some slapper who was always hounding him for money or affection did not seem like a positive lifestyle choice.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Musing #284 - I was sitting in a bar in Bangkok . . .

I was sitting in a bar in Bangkok, “The Sloppy Second” – a name that sounded much better in Thai – listening to “Titiko” offer me sage advice in drunken slurs.

“Deetz, make a list of 10 things you need in a girl and when you find one who has 7 of them, marry her.”

Titiko likely assumed she had at least 5 of those qualities, including a full-size, still fully functional penis and nicely designed tits. Not that I have anything against “kathoey”, or shemales, as the uneducated would refer to them, but this one was wearing a bit thin – alcoholism looks bad on everyone. I was desperately trying to pawn her off on my new dojo mate, Kenneth, who was salivating so bad I couldn’t tell if the front of his shirt was wet from sweat or drool. Before she said that, I would have gladly loaned him the money an hour ago to take her in the back for a “Lucky 30”, so I could drink my tea in peace but her musing caught me off guard.

Musing #284 - I was sitting in a bar in Bangkok . . .

I was sitting in a bar in Bangkok, “The Sloppy Second” – a name that sounded much better in Thai – listening to “Titiko” offer me sage advice in drunken slurs.

“Deetz, make a list of 10 things you need in a girl and when you find one who has 7 of them, marry her.”

Titiko likely assumed she had at least 5 of those qualities, including a full-size, still fully functional penis and nicely designed tits. Not that I have anything against “kathoey”, or shemales, as the uneducated would refer to them, but this one was wearing a bit thin – alcoholism looks bad on everyone. I was desperately trying to pawn her off on my new dojo mate, Kenneth, who was salivating so bad I couldn’t tell if the front of his shirt was wet from sweat or drool. Before she said that, I would have gladly loaned him the money an hour ago to take her in the back for a “Lucky 30”, so I could drink my tea in peace but her musing caught me off guard.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Musing # 3
The morning was so young and still that I could hear each snowflake float onto the cabin deck. The cold, crisp air hung heavily over everything like the blanket that covered the bed. I took in a quiet inhale, pulling toward me the spent vanilla candle’s lingering scent. I wanted the moment to stay just a little longer, the feel of the thick Egyptian beige cotton sheets and matching quilted blanket held my bliss close to my chest. And I kept still, very, very still for I feared if I opened even one eye the bubble would pop and I’d have to accept that it was all just a nice, a very nice dream.

Most of my best moments were dreams from someone else’s life – a happy endings satisfied only through movies from the Golden Age of Hollywood or a romance novel. Yet if I kept real quiet, maybe that heat coming from next to me that smells like the sandalwood and my sweat was a real person. And maybe that real person, who is groaning and possessively tugging just above my hip, wants to suck on my bottom lip until, until, . . . . And let’s say, let’s just say that real person was my childhood crush who also happens to be the 12th Earl of Glamorgan and looks like someone straight off of a cover of a collection of gay erotica.

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