It has always been my philosophy that it is the Sub that runs the relationship. Doms need to dominate, to feel and present themselves as the ones in control. They live to cause and watch the pleasure their acts bring to their Subs. But, if you watched the typical BDSM porn, you’d think it was more ‘SM’ than ‘BD’ and even in cases of the latter, the subtleness of real master-slave relationships is notable for its absence. Although we’ve engaged in a form of Japanese ‘tight binding’ called Kinbaku, we’d never dealt in harshness or intentional infliction of pain. An instance of violent assault as a teen was as much sexually-based abuse as I ever wanted to endure. This is and will always be about control and Angus, fy annwyl, my beloved husband, knows when I’m not in control.
