Family lore would have it that Angus told Deetz he loved him while the two were stranded in a frozen Russian forest after a nearly failed rescue – holding Deetz in his arms, praying that Deetz wouldn’t bleed to death due to his gunshot wounds, and promising to marry him if he lived. Real sweet stuff and a PG-rated story to tell the kids, nieces and nephews. But, it wasn’t true. Angus first told Deetz he loved him while getting a blow job in an alley patio of a gay bar.
If curiosity killed the cat, luckily Angus had nine lives. He had never been to a gay bar and after a bottle of wine with dinner at an Indian restaurant, he cajoled Deetz to expand his experiences. They had to ride around for some time as it had been some time since Deetz had cruised the London scene. They finally found a spot – Buddies – with a compliment of leather boys smoking in front to describe the Feng Shui one would find inside. “Lush!” Angus exclaimed while Deetz rolled his eyes.
Angus loved good house music. He just couldn’t dance to it, as that moment was proving. Deetz ordered drinks, a gin and tonic for Angus and orange juice for himself, from the bartender who Deetz recognized as someone he knew from Uni. The olive skinned bartender was initially eager to chat up Deetz but Deetz was clearly distracted, watching Angus moving his body like a belly dancer in a hip and back brace. Deetz smiled, wondering how someone who was so sexually responsive could be so thoroughly uncoordinated. Eventually, the bartender gave up and moved on to more promising pastures but not before Angus had come over to the bar. Angus tried to talk but Deetz shook his head and, after spotting a set of stairs, ushered him toward them, reckoning there would be a place to hear one another talk.
What they found was the video room with multiple screens showing the same staged BDSM porn scene – one man bent over and tied spread eagle to a large hobby horse while one man force fed his cock down the slave’s throat and another, well-endowed man fucked him savagely. Although the room was seemingly clean, a light aroma of piss, semen, and lust hung over everything like an early morning London fog. “Close your mouth before flies lay eggs on your tongue,” Deetz whispered in Angus’s ear after the waiter left with their drink order.
Angus tried closing his mouth but the pictures on the video gripped him. “Is that guy enjoying that?”
Deetz looked up lazily at the screen in his direct line of sight. “He’s enjoying the money he’s getting for looking like he enjoys it,” he shrugged.
Angus had loads of questions but one particular question was tugging at him. “Who’s the guy downstairs at the bar?”
“Like I said, I just know him from school. Nothing ever happened – not my type.”
“What’s your type?” Angus asked, looking around the room as if he was about to set Deetz up with his next one-night stand.
“If I was picking someone up from the bar, I wasn’t particular. Anyone with a sufficiently big enough bulge,” Deetz said, only half-joking. For a few moments, he considered telling Angus about his times spent in the ladyboy bars in Thailand or the three months he lived in Canada servicing an older rich woman but he worried that doing so would expose just how slutty he’d been these past six years he and Angus hadn’t seen each other. Instead, he put his hand on Angus’s knee as if to say, you’re my type right now.
And, as usual, Angus was like a dog with a bone. ““Where would you go? Hotel or something?”
“These places usually have a room or somewhere out back that is open for folks to meet.”
“Show me.”
“Angus, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
Now it was time for Angus to use hand gestures. He took Deetz’s hand and put it on his crotch, leaned toward his ear and growled, “I’m the Earl of Glamorgan and I order you to suck my cock in the meeting spot.”
Deetz probably should have hesitated further, told him that they could do the same thing back at the townhouse but Angus’s firm squeeze of Deetz’s balls meant thinking had switched to a different location in his body. Deetz took Angus by the hand and led him downstairs and around the corner, into an open air room called “The Dungeon” – dark brick, low voltage lights, condom litter and the beat from the dance floor blurring the sounds of men groaning. Angus saw couples in various stages of undress and positions, triads trying to find their spot in the fucking order, and singles pounding their meat while eyeing everyone else. Deetz found a somewhat isolated spot. “Are you sure you want to do this,” he asked again.
Angus already had his dick out, massaging it and looking lustfully, “Deetz, please.”
Deetz brushed aside some used condoms from under his feet then kneeled before Angus’s pelvis. Angus grasped a pipe above his head and started to close his eyes when Deetz suddenly stood up and commanded in a low voice, “Look at me when I do this to you!”
Deetz was right, the real thing is much better than any porn, Angus thought. He both felt and watched how his lover created magic around his dick and balls with his mouth and tongue. It was all so hot, Angus felt he’d melt into the bricks. He had many blowjobs over the years, some more enthusiastic and agreeable than others. This, however, was earnestly masterful in its sole dedication to his pleasure. He’d never felt so loved and selflessly cared for in his life. He wasn’t sure if while cumming he should moan or cry.
Instead, while Deetz’s attention was drawn to enjoying the feel of Angus’s quivering thighs and loud music rocked through the air, Angus said, “I love you.”
Deetz looked up and caught the dreamy look on his lover’s face. This pleased him and he would never have thought Angus would be anything more than just grateful for the good time. Deetz hadn’t imagined let alone hoped for more than stealing little moments with Angus, reckoning even these would fade once the Earl of Glamorgan’s curiosity had been quenched. The Hebrew word chanted at Passover, Dayenu – it would have been enough - came to mind. This bit of time and attention from Angus would have been enough. So when he thought he heard the words “I love you”, he did not give it the weight for which it was meant.
And later that night, after he’d saved Angus’s life again, this time from some overzealous leather boys who saw their escapade and wanted a taste, Deetz did not fully appreciate that Angus’s 2nd sexual request of the night came from a place of complete trust. “Deetz?”
“Ah?”
“Come sleep with me tonight.”
“Haven’t you had enough excitement for the evening?”
“No, I haven’t thanked you properly for saving my life,” Angus lied. It was a white lie – the kind you tell when you’re scared of being rejected.
Deetz attributed Angus’s newly acquired eagerness to explore anal sex to the mild massaging his hole got while Deetz was blowing him. Deetz’s knuckle pressed against it inadvertently as he played with his balls. “You’re a virgin and sometimes these things take time.”
Luckily for Deetz, Angus was a fast learner.
- From “The Musings of Deetz Mac Innes”, 9/24/2016
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