Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Romancing my Bone

Please enjoy this little ditty/writing exercise employed as a way to lift this writer's block.  It takes place well-after The Roswell Discrepancy: a human romance in three parts (to explore this story click on the link to Amazon Books to the right and down from this post) and Project Iceworm: a human marriage in three parts (due for publication at the end of this year - sorry it is taking longer than I would have liked but unfortunately, I don't have a trust fund and the New York Times has yet to discover my masterpieces).  Leave a comment with your thoughts. 

THE INTERVIEW
I was driving to Brighton alone.  Angus, my husband, dedicated British MP and rich hottie had been called back to Westminster for a critical vote in support of his new environmental plan for Cardiff Bay.  I was doing our other job – investigators for MI-6’s Department of Alien Affairs.  Our fathers traveled the world for the secret services debunking (sorry, no loch ness monster) and confirming (WE are the aliens!) the existence of extraterrestrials.  His father and mine weren’t lovers – yes, I’m certain – but they were as close as any valet could be to his lord (in that 19th century sorta way).  How did Angus Reese, the 12th Earl of Glamorgan get this deep inside of me?  Ah Mate, you’ll have to read that story on your own.
I got an eleven o’clock train.  I love driving on the M4 but parking where I was going was like walking a moose in a specialty boutique.  I wasn’t expecting to be there more than a day or two and the interview was at a gay restaurant/bar a block from my hotel, so walking made sense all the way around.  The long ride was ideal for I had some reading to catch up on – summers are short when you are in rabbinical school.  And I knew I’d get nothing done once Angus got home.  He likes to make up for lost time.
About 2-hours in, I fell asleep.  The seats in the first-class compartments recline easily and I already had the room temperature at a comfortable setting.  I should have dreamed about my Comprehensive Biblical Hebrew class but dreams don’t lie.  My dick ran an old movie where I star as the cute thing in the middle.  If Angus had been in that luxury space on rails, I’d closed the window’s curtains, locked the door, and let him tie me to the chair.  Yeah, ‘your grace’ has many meanings in my mansion.
The fantasy woke me up just as some beefcake finished whispering the 25 different ways he was going to fuck me.  I thought of banging off but reconsidered.  That’s the problem with love.  You get used to the comfort of someone who knows you, reads your body and executes moves in tune with your breathing.  An open marriage would be pointless when you got a guaranteed orgasm at home.  Is it a problem if my husband is better at getting me off than my . . . sorry, hand?
I went back to reading.  Instead of graduate drab, I grabbed up a new story from my favourite author, Todd Nelson.  He’s a Jewish Walter Mosely – painting a gritty, honest picture of the New York elite.  His pieces would never make it as one of Andy Cohen’s Real Housewives.  Nelson tears down the glamour to show that despite all their money, their lives sucked too, really, really sucked.  His latest, Maligned, was a barely veiled fictional retelling of the Madoff Family – before, during, and after daddy went up the duff.  I’m certain that in a couple of years, psychology professors will be using it to teach about narcissism and dysfunctional families.  By the time the train pulled into the station, I was halfway through and eager to find a café somewhere so I could finish it.
Stone, our MI-6 handler, gave me a dossier (yes, just like in the movies but now it’s on a USB drive) on my interviewee.  Gary Sheffield was a 27-year old accountant from a nearby small town.  He worked for a mid-size insurance company.  Never married, a member of the queer book club in town, with one child (likely from a dodgy shag at a time he thought he should double-check his orientation).  The photo was unflattering – dull eyes behind a style of glasses that faded in the previous century, dirty blonde hair that looked like it was once either a mop or wig, and a pot-marked face as if puberty was hanging on out of spite.  No shade – maybe he had a good personality, or loved kittens and puppies, or donated half his salary to the church.  But what was important to me was that Gary Sheffield didn’t look like the typical nutter we’d encounter in the past.
I was staying at the Drakes Hotel.  Angus and I had stayed here during Pride last year.  The outside could be mistaken for a quaint London townhouse.  The rooms had a simple, elegant, rusty warmth that employed lots of muted yellows, reddish-orange, and rich greens as part of the interior design.  The seaside views looking off to the English Channel, was a beautiful canvas for a romantic scene, especially with the windows open so you can smell the humid air and hear the waves.  I could have sat on the balcony chair all night, but I was already running behind.
The Charles Street Tap was an area staple.  It was an old-style gay club – part community centre, part cruising spot, and part high-end restaurant bar.  The crowd was finally getting younger yet more affluent.  I shouldn’t complain – I am one of those people now.  Hubby once brought me to the accountant to review the yearly audit of the family’s finances.  After 5 minutes of droll, I stood up and told him, “Just let me know when we’re only really, really fucking rich” before walking out.
I took a seat at the bar then ordered a seltzer with lime.  Alcohol and I parted company years ago.  I took an edible from a package in my jean jacket pocket.  Listen, an addiction that keeps me from killing the next person who irritates me is not a drug but a leash.  Just as I settled back on the stool, I scanned the crowd while doing some mindfulness breathing.  This was how I quieted the hundreds of voices trampling through my head.
Ah, yeah, . . . I got these psychic powers.  It’s called clairescence – I sense other people’s feelings, particularly those they leave on the objects they touch.  Bars were particularly annoying with all the droplets of desperation that rested on everything, refreshed with every new drink order.  Then there was my brand – shaped like a Celtic tree of life - on my back that lights up like one of those neon tattoos.  This is particularly problematic while I’m shagging but then again, that’s apart of that other story.    
Then an olfactory apparition passed me quickly and I couldn’t catch the face behind it.  I became disoriented . . . I knew that smell – sandalwood and something I couldn’t label.  Then, a soft, effeminate  voice startled me. 
“Mr. Mac Innes?”
“It’s Mac Innes-Reese actually.”  I don’t know why his faux pau bothered me.  Angus was right, I needed to get back to regular yoga sessions.  “Mr. Sheffield?” 
He was more attractive in person than the photo implied.  He actually had rather pretty eyes, though I couldn’t identify the colour.  “Please,” he said while eagerly shaking my hand, “call me Gary.”  He realized that I noted he was wearing gloves.  He withdrew quickly to remove them.  “Sorry, I rode my moped here.”
I shrugged.  “Table?”  He nodded and I grabbed my drink and mobile then followed him to a four-top near the back window.  I sat facing the door.  Nope, Sam Spade isn’t dead.  “The Crown appreciates your bringing this issue to our attention.”  I sounded like a stereotypical English bureaucrat.  “How may I be of assistance?”
Again, he didn’t present like the usual chav who thinks everything involves a secret plot by the government to control our minds.  Like they are that smart – folks, do you remember that second rate burgherly at the Watergate Hotel? Sometimes I want to tell folks the truth – the government is too inept to pull that off and even if they were that adept, your life is boring and unimportant outside of a data point on a marketing plan.  However, he didn’t whisper or look around to check for Russian spies.  He pulled a file folder from a nondescript brown leather messenger bag.  “Here are the pictures, mathematical and bio-analysis, as well as results from a separate, independent lab.”
I thumbed through the papers like this shit made sense.  “What are your conclusions, Gary?”
“Someone is traveling in and out of our local galaxy then bringing back cosmic bacteria and viruses that operate in ways we don’t understand,” he said with some bit of rage.  “I have been trying to get someone to pay attention for months.  I have to admit, I was a bit off-put when they told me that I’d be talking to someone from the Department of Alien Affairs.  But you two have a strong reputation in the community.”  The waiter came over and switched his ass so Gary here could get a good look at what could be his midnight snack but my interviewee wasn’t having it.  Did he just sneer at that queen?  “My friends and I are amateurs, fooling around on the weekends and holidays – the kids with qualification scores not quite good enough for parents to pay for anything impractical like a degree in astrophysics.  When a local farmer started losing various livestock after seeing what he described as a ‘falling star’, he asked us to examine the soil for ‘alien bits’.  Iron from space has a layer of water crystals embedded in its internal layers.  This is how you distinguish it from iron created on Earth.  Problem is this cosmic iron at 21 degrees Celsius or higher, the crystals are released along with naturally occurring lithium.  The combined, small amounts will give an average sized man a bad stomach and headache – it’s often mistaken for the flu – the shit is deadly to four-legged creatures.”
I closed the folder as if I’d seen enough.  “You know I’ll have to verify this with my people,” I said nonchalantly.
“Of course!” he replied as the waiter brought the menus and his martini.  “Have you eaten?  The food here is brilliant.”  He took a sip but didn’t seem to enjoy the beverage.
Shit, I was trapped.  It would be rude to get up now.  I settled in for dinner with this man.  “What would you recommend?”
“The seafood is very good.”  He waved the waiter back to us and placed the order.  It was such a butch move as to teetered on rude.  I found it kinda hot. “I’m sorry I missed your husband.  I would love to meet him,” he said while taking another sip.
“Angus had a vote.  Tomorrow I will join him in London.”  Why did I just lie?  Angus wasn’t coming home until next week. 
“Politics, such a difficult field when one has a family, I imagine,” Gary said while taking off his suit jacket and losing his tie.  “And you’re in a seminary in America?”
“Yes, in a town outside of Philadelphia.”  A light lavender dress shirt was barely hiding a very-well put together body.  Was this really the guy from the photo?  That aroma visited again like the wind as you pass on a train.  Where was this coming from?  Why was it feeling so familiar?  The waiter interrupted my mental investigation with a plate of fried calamari.  “What is life-like for an insurance company’s accountant?” I said trying to act normal.
When I looked up from the appetizer, Gary had his shirt unbuttoned low on his chest.  If I leered further, I would have been able to read the Japanese kanji on his pecks.  But s=omething strange was going on.  “The articles in the papers always make it seem like you two really love each other.  I hate to sound caddy but is that real or just for the publicity?” 
I should have been offended but his tone was so kind and a bit sweet that I could help but answer honestly.  “It’s real,” I blushed.  “Angus is very special.  He saved my life . . . breathed hope back in me.” 
Gary smiled then started to pull on his skin, just below the jawline.  Like something out of a classic horror or spy movie, he pulled off the mask, hair combination.  The man under the mask was Angus.  He sussed his shoulder-length hair like he'd just jumped off the cover of a romance novel.  He was the sexiest fucking thing on the planet.
“Surprise!” he shouted before giving me a peck on the lips.  “Did you know it was me?”
“The gloves were a good trick, but you’ve got a specific smell about you.  I just couldn’t put it together that you’d be here.  I thought the vote was going down the wire.”  I took his hand, playing with the tips of his fingers. 
“Well, you just happen to be married to a very clever MP who was top of Eton’s chess club.  I out-maneuvered my opponent with my secret political ninja moves.”
“I thought you were popular there ‘cuz you drew all the hot’s slappers on campus to the parties?”
He feigned hurt, “Rude!”  He popped calamari in his mouth.  “I got lucky and I couldn’t wait to see you.”
I wasn’t complaining. “What about the real Gary Sheffield?”
“I took care of him earlier,” he said with a full mouth.  “That’s the folder he gave me.  Does it make sense to you?”
“Fuck no!  Whitfield can analyze it later.”  Whitfield was one of our team – like the science officer on Star Trek.
“You want to head home now on the red-eye?”
“No,” I said stretching out the O.  “I have a brilliant room at the Drakes – a great view of the sea.  I plan to ensure the Crown gets its money’s worth!”
I pulled him up by his shirt collar.  “Hey”, he said while nearly dropping the last piece of fish, “I’m starving here.”
I took out my mobile and arranged for Grubhub to pick up our order from here and drop it off at the hotel.  The waiter looked quite disappointed.  I hoped he wouldn’t spit in the take-out containers.  “He was about to leap on your lap,” I grumbled once we got on the hotel elevator.
When the 59-year-old businessman got off at the 4th floor, Angus pinned me against the back wall, holding my hands over my head.  “You’re so cute when you're jealous.”  He kissed me, nibbling on my bottom lip.  I know, a strange place for an erogenous zone.  “Why would I want that when I have something delicious wanting me.  You do want me, don’t you?”
“Please.”  I was doing my best to rub my dick against him.  But he was cleverly keeping a distance.  He drives me mad.  “I dreamed of being with you.”
“Did you touch yourself?”
“No,” I admitted.  “I wanted to have all my energy waiting for you when you arrived home.”
“Good boy!”  As the elevator doors opened on the 14th floor, he released my hands.  I got out first so he could pat my ass as I went by.  “Let see how good you’ve been,” he teased as I opened the suite door.
Angus Reese is beefcake kidnapped from a commercial for the Hamptons in New York or Hyde Park in London.  His money makes him even more attractive.  He was listed on Europe’s Top Ten Bachelors for three years in a row until I snagged him (or did he snag me?).  His auburn hair that cascaded like a waterfall in a Thomas Kinkade print, striking grey-brown eyes that changed colour like a mood ring, and a body made for all kinds of exercise along with a stomach that ate everything but never added a pound.  He was especially fond of my martini’s and homemade pretzels – well, really pretzels of any kind.  A passionate lover who could lick, suck and man-handled my body through six orgasms while never taking his clothes off.  And he loved me.  This must be what a well-cared-for teddy bear feels like.
If Angus was model gorgeous, I was Bruce Lee’s white brother from another mother with even less body hair.  We were close to the same height, so when Angus came into the sitting room directly behind me it was easy for him to grab and kiss me.  My fingertips caressed his face, beard and moustache trimmed and soft.  His lips were plump making his kisses full and pliable.  His tongue massaged mine with firm strokes.  He held my shoulders and clearly was not going to release me until he drank me dry.  That wouldn’t be a bad way to go.
Then we both became a bit self-conscious and stepped back at the same time, blushing like we just snogged for the first time at the school dance.  We are kinda like that, often overwhelmed by our feelings and in wonderment at the love coming from the other person.  “Ah, well, right . . .  Let’s clean you up,” Angus finally said to break the silence.  A knock at the door announced our packed food and his suitcase.  “Good timing!”  He removed what we called our ‘cleaning kit’ from his tote. If he bothered to pack it, he had intensions.  A pre-sex cleanse and prep for several rounds of deep fucking was a ritual of ours.  The casual banter while we washed one another shrunk the world into a bubble of two.  Sandalwood soap, a light lotion, plenty of lube and it was, as my best friend Toni would say, “’On and poppin’”. 
Fresh and naked, we got in the king-size bed, pulling the covers over ourselves as it was a bit chilly for a June day.  “I should have turned the heat up,” I said.
“Nay,” he replied pulling me closer to him, “we could do with a little cuddle anyway.” 
I nuzzled up even further, drawn by the tautness of his skin and his warmth.  “Why do you love me?”  My inner child was needy.  “I know I’m a bit of a pain and this school thing is more than annoying.”
He fussed my hair then twirled my newly forming Jew curls with his fingers.  “Are you going to let this grow out?”  He tugged slightly at the top mop then said, “Right. . . ‘cuz it feels good in my hand.” 
“Maybe,” I sighed thinking he wasn’t going to answer my question.
But he was dragging it out, making me wait.  After a therapeutic pause, he kissed the top of my head.  “You bring out the best in me, don’t let me get away with my shit.”  He sighed then continued, “I am focused, have a purpose.  Before, I’d just buy and sell companies like gamblers at a Vegas poker table – drink and whore in much the same way.  Now I’m in parliament, sponsor agricultural summits to help local farmers plant more effective crops, and fully support a foundation for people who lose limbs and cannot afford prostheses and physiotherapy.”  He’d developed this latter project as part of his own therapy when he lost his hand during an early MI-6 mission – another long story from a previous book.  “Yeah, you’re a selfish cow lots of the time but when I’ve needed you, you’ve been there, you’ve always been there.  Knowing that gives me a sense of freedom like as long as you’re near, I can do anything.”
“Like how you trusted your dad?”
“Now that sounded creepy!” he chuckled.  “But kinda.  I think that’s the most important thing a parent gives a child, an emotional safety net as the child moves further and further into the larger world.”
“I wouldn’t know, not having had parents that gave a fuck,” I grumbled.
“True,” he took his other hand and tickled my chin to get me to look up, “and I can’t change that as much as I would like to.  What I can do though is adore you the way you deserve.”
We exchanged doughy-eyed looks for a few moments, then smiled broadly before kissing.  It was one of those reassuring pecks initially but it didn’t take long for them to become sensual, a bit aggressive on his part.  We’d been playing around the edges of BDSM, mostly with Japanese rope binding. I like the security it gives me and it satisfies an inner OCD with him.  I’ve called him ‘sir’ when we are alone before we were married, and he enjoyed my wearing a butt plug while we attended some dismal but mandatory dinner with colleagues.  Most times we are just as vanilla as some of our straight friends but tonight, I could tell he was feeling something more intentional than missionary.  “How can I be of service, sir?”
He thought for a moment and my brand lit up like menorah candles on the eighth night of Chanukah.  He sat up abruptly.  “Turn over on your stomach,” he ordered.  I did as he commanded.  For some reason, the pot edible suddenly hit me with a delayed dual double punch - Sativa psychedelic trippiness with an Indica muscle relaxer.  He reached over for more lube and as he applied it to my asshole, he said, “I plan on immersing myself in you until my dick can read your soul.  Do you need a safe word?”
“No, sir.”  Did I really just give him that much power?  “I trust you completely.”
He applied the lube, moving a hefty glob in a circle around my hole, stopping occasionally to massage it inside me up to his second knuckle.  Then he unexpectedly slapped my ass cheek before I could sense it coming.  I flinched but let the sting ripple and become tantalizing waves throughout my body.  “You may regret that,” he groaned.  Oh yeah, . . .
“Thank you, sir,” I replied submissively.
I thought that would get me another good slap but instead, in his usual unpredictable fashion, Angus yanked the covers off of me.  The cold air was startling but I didn’t have enough time to think about it as very quickly he pulled me onto my side, facing away from him.  “Let’s see how grateful you are when I’m done.”  He caressed my exposed side and left wet kisses all over my shoulder.  I shivered and he chuckled again.  “Oh yeah, Mate.  You should be afraid.”  He pulled away for a moment to apply lube to his cock.  I could tell by the sound of moisture slapping up against something ridged.  He laid on his side behind me.  He wrapped his right arm about my upper chest and secured his hand on my left shoulder allowing him to elevate his upper body.  “I want to watch you cum,” he said before biting the back of my neck.  He put the head of his dick at my entrance.  “Breathe and let me in.” 
It wasn’t a request as much as a statement.  Angus isn’t so much long as he is thick it took a minute to get my sphincter to relax enough to get all of his head inside.  He rocked on then off the entrance until he was just barely in.  Once his knob pushed through, he exhaled and unceremoniously pushed all the way in – a helluva way to make an entrance.  I should have anticipated this but would that have been any fun? 

I yelped a bit which put a devilish smile on his face.  He lifted my left leg.  He secured me in that position by sliding the leg to his crease of his elbow behind my kneecap and locking his hands together.  “You’re not going anywhere until I’m done until I’ve gotten what I want from you.”

He started thrusting in and out of my ass slow and steady.  But that wasn’t getting the reaction from me he wanted.  He alternated between increased speed and depth until the initial stinging sensation of my asshole being stretched and the weed made me delirious.  He took this one step further and started whispering in my ear.  Angus is an amateur linguist – picks languages up easily and speaks seven fluidly. 

He once told me he dreams multilingually and didn’t realize that he “spoke in tongues” when he fucked me (he also said he never did this with other lovers because it never felt this good – I don’t care if he’s lying).  This time it was German.  Leather boys and fetish doms should have taken notes.

Wirst du es mir geben oder soll ich es einfach nehmen (Are you going to give it to me or should I just take it)?”  Another definitive, firm thrust and I yelped louder.  His smirk grew like Wile E. Coyote before Road Runner dashed his hopes.  “Wessen Arsch ist das (Whose ass is this)?”

“Yours!” I slurred.

Wer ist (Who’s)?”
“Yours, sir!”

Angus stretched my left leg up further so his hand could grab my face while pulling it toward his lips.  He squeezed my cheeks with his fingertips and kissed me harshly.  At first, his tongue licked mine until he pulled back a bit then sucked on my bottom lip again.  He did this for a minute until he returned to kissing.


Proof positive that erroneous zones are found throughout the body as mouth-play was always a favorite of Angus.  He started playing with my gooch, the space between my asshole and my balls, stroking the area like a chef folding flavoured whipped cream.  Ah, so many choices – do I let my dick come first?

It was just a tease.  He wasn’t going to let me choose and increased his depth, grinding inside of me in a semi-circular motion.  My husband’s ample features massaged all my internal spots until my lower body was on fire.  I don’t like the term “breeding”.  It’s crass and sexist.  I’m a man who likes to be fucked silly by men who like anal and, last I checked, that’s not how you get pregnant.  Although in this situation, it was an apt adjective.

I felt his dick quiver like a twig in a tornado.  A strange guttural sound came from him before he switched from German to French.  “Ce trou est le mien; Je le réclame pour la Couronne (This hole is mine; I claim it for the Crown)”!  Ah, he is such a monarchist!  However, who’s caring when your falling into a mind frizzing explosion.  Pink elephants and LSD would have to smoke a cigarette after a shag from this man.  As always, he waited until I came before he did, not always easy but something a good dom does.  And he didn’t plough harder as he came but let the shaking cock do the talking. 
He let go of my leg, but my slight shivering meant it took a minute to put it all the way down.  He pulled me onto his chest.  He smelled like sweat and burnt wood, likely embers from my brand.  The brand never burnt him for some reason whereas I had to protect other lovers from it by limiting my positions or wearing a heavy shirt.  He clenched me tight then kissed the top of my head.  “I guess I missed you,” he murmured shyly.
“I’m glad,” I replied before licking his nipple, feeling content and appreciated, as all subs should. 
I yawned and he looked down at me to say, “I need to check on a few things.”  Angus sat up and reached for his mobile.  “You look knackered.  Get some sleep, Mate.  You’ve been away too long and I need to properly continue my welcome home.”  Sounds good to me!
I turned onto my stomach, my hands under my pillow.  I fell asleep quickly and immediately started dreaming.  I was on a warm island beach, walking along a sandy coastline.  The water was crystal blue, clear enough that I could see small fish swimming at the surface.  But I didn’t dally, seemingly eager to get somewhere.  There was a large cabin in the distance, the home of some old, curmudgeonly writer whose success had died long ago.  It was a large space, with a wind-worn wraparound wooden porch and chickens pecking around an unkempt front yard.  When I got to the steps, with cracks across the boards, I looked around and found a half finished fifth of bourbon.  In my drinking days, Jack Daniels was my go-to coping strategy that made dangerous, anonymous fetish sex easier.  In the dream – and the reason I was certain it was a dream – I gulped half the bottle before entering the house.  Opening the door helped apply light to an otherwise shuttered environment.  Furnishing was clean but sparse.  The strong aromatic scent of Ogiri okpei, an African food flavouring produced from fermented oil seeds, gripped my nostrils and hinted at a smell memory I couldn’t quite place. 
I walked through the house looking for something; no, needing to find something.  The longing was palpable.  I began fondling myself aggressively through my khaki trousers as I arrived at my designation – a slightly ajar door to a back room.  I paused before touching the handle, reading the emotions left on the knob – anticipation, worry, and hopefulness.  I opened the door and saw a naked woman in the bed.  The sunlight through the open blinds formed streaked shadows across her coco-coloured breasts.


Is it bad to be fantasizing about your best friend after getting ploughed by your husband?  Shit, I hate being a stereotype.

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